God Promises to Walk with Us !
~ today's guest post by Carey Bailey
As a little girl, I loved baby dolls. Loved them! I played school, adoption agency, daycare operator and babysitter all day. I felt like I was born to be a mama. Therefore, I was a bit anxious when the ages, 22, 25, 28 and 32 came and went and there were no babies. Have you ever desired something so much and feared never getting it? That was me.
My day finally came at the age of 34. I soon realized that God knew what God was doing when I had to wait. To my shock, it wasn’t as easy as playing with dolls. I was surprised that it wasn’t the dream world I imagined it would be! I felt like life became a gigantic prayer.
“God, HELP me!”
“Please, God. Please, please, please make it all better. I can’t do this!”
“God, this feels impossible. Where are you?”
While I adore motherhood, it is harder and there are more adjustments than I expected. (I am hoping there are some nodding of heads and Amen’s being said out there in cyberworld.) Not only did I have a new life to care for, but my identity suddenly felt all scrambled up. It took me until my son was one to finally feel confident in my new role as a mother, confident that I could drop my child off at preschool without crying, confident that I could go out with the girls’ and the world wouldn’t fall apart, and confident that I could go on a date night and have conversations that didn’t revolve just around our son.
I was feeling settled in my new world and then WHAM! I discovered I was pregnant again. Can I be vulnerable with you? I actually cried when I found out. And they were not tears of joy. I feel awful saying that out loud, and I hope you will give me a moment to explain. It was not that I didn’t want another baby or feel like I couldn’t love a new life, it was just that I got scared. Discovering a little person was on the way sent a panic through me. Would my son still receive the love and attention that he deserved? How was my husband going to feel about my body changing again? Would I ever be able to pursue the vision I felt God had for me in writing and publishing? I was truly wondering if I was going to be able to handle another intense wave of identity crisis like the one I had just been through. I wasn’t sure.
God and I needed a serious talk. And in that conversation God carefully reminded me of this:
“For I know the plans I have for you,"
declares the LORD,
"plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
God reminded me in our time together that I, too,
am God's child and God has every intention of loving me,
caring for me, and giving me the future that God has planned for me.
As mothers, we can get so caught up in parenting
that we forget that we, too, have a spiritual parent
who loves us as a child.
God loves you as much as God loves the children God has given you.
God will never forsake you.
And on those days when motherhood seems
too overwhelming and too impossible
I step back and take a deep breath.
Then I remember that
this journey I am on, right now,
is the one God has designed and created uniquely for me.
I simply need to live in it, learn from it, and allow
God's love to sweep over and through me.
God will walk with me! God will walk with you! Grab God's hand.
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Welcome to Pearl Girls™ Mother of Pearl Mother's Day blog series - a week long celebration of moms and mothering. Each day will feature a new post by some of today's writer's
Tricia Goyer, Sheila Walsh, Suzanne Woods Fisher, Bonnie St. John, and more.
I hope you'll join us each day for another
unique perspective on Mother's Day.
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Contest runs 5/6-5/13
the winner will on 5/14.
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And to all you MOMS out there,
Happy Mother's Day!
